It’s so empowering to say ‘this isn’t serving me’ and walking away in peace.
One of my intentions for 2019 is to continue to let go of the things – people, experiences, energy, commitments, that aren’t serving me. If it’s draining my energy and not adding to my energy, I’m out.
I wanted to share my intentions for the year in hopes they inspire you to think about yours, especially as we’re into the later part of January we tend to lose sight and momentum of our goals.
My top 3 intentions for the year:
1. Focusing on Serving Relationships
Walking away from the non-serving relationships, AKA the toxic or negative ones. Releasing the non-serving ones with love, knowing the relationships served a purpose for me at a time when I needed it.
This is a big one for me. As I age, gain new insights and learnings about myself – what I like, don’t like, what adds to my happiness, what takes away – I recognize that some people and relationships need to be released. Not going to lie, it’s very hard and emotionally draining to break up with a friend, nonetheless a significant other. Whether it’s a work relationship, a best friend, a family member – whatever the relationship is – if it’s not serving me and adding to my growth & overall wellbeing, I am releasing it.
Tips that have helped me do this that I’ll continue to use because they work for me:
- Praying – leaving it up to God for Him to continue to guide me to the right types of people and relationships
- Cutting ties meditation (or cutting cord) – it’s a visual meditation or exercise that guides you through energetically cutting a tie with the event or relationship. You can learn more about this philosophy and practice from spirit junkie Gabrielle Bernstein here.
- Talking it out
- My therapist was a big part of my 2018 growth, and while I’ve taken a break (I call it ‘graduation’) from her for now, she was a major part of me dealing with the emotional burden of releasing the relationship.
- Friends – talking it out with my ride or dies allows my mind and heart to open into a new way. They make me feel less like a bitch for ending the relationship, and more empowered to choose my happiness
2. Saying No
Another major one for me – learning how to say NO!
My entire life I’ve said yes whether I truly meant it or not. Saying yes to go out when I really wanted to stay in, saying yes to a work project even though it brought me no value, saying yes to cooking dinner even though I was exhausted and preferred takeout.
Now I’m committed to honoring and embracing what I truly NEED in that moment and doing so without guilt or fear of hurting someone else’s feelings or losing a job opportunity. Because I value my energy so much I don’t want to keep saying yes to projects, events, people, opportunities, whatever that may actually deplete my energy. In fact I believe that saying no just brings us closer to the right ‘yes’ we need for that time – whether it’s a better job opportunity or a better time with friends.
So far I can think of 2 scenarios where I’ve said no in 2019:
The first was a time I said I would meet my friend before she was moving away for a few months. I really didn’t have the energy to go see her that day so after a few hours of me planning on going I told her I’d meet her later that week. We ended up having a way better time together and had true meaningful conversation. It was actually the best.
The second time I said no was to a new work opportunity. While the money was certainly something I wanted (and let’s be honest I have to hustle quite a few different revenue streams right now as I build my business), I chose to decline the offer due to the commitment I would have had to make. Since I said no to that offer I’ve had a couple other projects come through that make more sense for me right now. Isn’t is crazy how that works?!
My major tip for honoring this intention and saying no? Truly loving myself
Embodying, embracing, and respecting myself so much that I come first. Putting myself first allows me to show up and give fully to others – that’s why the airplane pilots tell us to put on our oxygen mask first before putting it on another person.
3. Honoring my time & schedule
Learning how to stop overcommitting (ie saying yes to too many things) and over-scheduling. I’m learning how to honor my time more to make room for more space, love, creativity and new opportunities. And let’s be honest, I have such a love/hate relationship with my agendas, notes, and google calendar – love it because it keeps me so organized and everything can be color coded; hate it because it’s PACKED, with little time for quietness or me.
This is also very challenging for me. January has been a packed month because I committed to many events and projects back before the holidays that I didn’t pay attention to all the ‘yeses’ for the whole month. It’s been a great wake up call though – taking a bird’s eye view of everything I’m doing and strategically selecting and scheduling the things that add to my energy (and saying no to what doesn’t!).
My biggest tip that I’ve started implementing to honor my time and schedule is to actually schedule ‘me time’ or ‘keep this open.’
This way, I actually uphold the date I’ve made with myself.
I’m also paying much closer attention to my week and month overall. I’m trying not to commit to more than three nights a week of being out, whether that’s out for dinner with friends or Kyle, or an event I’m hosting or attending.
Please share any tips and tricks you have on upholding your intentions for the year, whether it relates to these specific intentions or otherwise. I love learning from you, and know we can all value from learning from one another.